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Dream a little dream...

Vala was almost done, the boxes all sat neatly taped up and each one was labelled. She wasn't sure who'd labelled them, she didn't remember doing it herself, but sure enough each box was labelled clearly in Goa'uld. Nobody had helped her as far as she knew, she'd done all this by herself, unless Daniel had labelled them for her. She narrowed her eyes at the boxes, briefly wondering if Goa'uld was the best choice. What if Stargate Command rejected them thinking them to be dangerous? It was too late now though and Vala only had one cupboard left to empty. The wormhole was due to activate in fifteen minutes, in which time she had one chance to have everything ready. If she wasn't finished, she wasn't going, simple as that - all this 'stuff' had to be packed away.

In the corner of her eye, she noticed that one of the boxes was leaking from its edges and seams. What the hell was that? She hadn't packed anything that could leak? She tried to ignore it, that was clearly the best solution, ignore it and it would go away. Whatever had spilled, already had, and it was hardly going to get worse.

Vala turned her attention to the final cupboard again, it was stuffed with jewels and trinkets. She knew that when she opened the door, it would all come spilling out at her. Gold chalices, studded with rubies, crystal orbs, necklaces, the spoils of her less than honest life. There would be no time to pack them properly, the cupboard was too big. She'd just stuff the box haphazardly and hope for the best. When she opened the cupboard though, there was no dazzling sight. Nothing sparkled, nothing shone. She'd expected the lights to refract off every gem's cut edge and the entire contents to glitter and wink at her invitingly. But everything inside had become tainted and dulled. Green and grey mould collected on every piece and precious metals were rusted. Panic set in and frantically Vala started to search for anything that had survived, tossing coins and strings of jewels aside, scraping at the shelves with her fingernails and sweeping everything to one side for one thing, one thing that might have somehow avoided the ruin that had affected the rest of it. Hidden at the back was a small jewelry box, inlaid with an intricate marquetry design of rare woods and gold leaf. Vala smiled when she found it, wiping away the mossy film that covered it with her sleeve. The lock had long since rusted over but everything inside was safe, it had to be. She tried to prise it open but time was ticking on.

She started to shove all the treasure into the cardboard box, sweeping it in with her arm, mindless to any further damage she might cause, then the box behind her caught her eye again. The box that had leaked. She was wrong, it had leaked more, beneath the box a pool of thick red liquid spread across the floor. This was all getting too much for her, there was a mess of green decayed and rusty treasure scattered all over the room now and the box was literally seeping blood.

This wasn't going to happen, there just wasn't enough time. Panic was setting in as she hauled the box towards the door, her hands were stained with blood now and she left a smudged trail of it behind her. She had to somehow get rid of the box and clean up all of this mess in ten minutes now. It just couldn't be done. Vala slumped down against the box, defeated as she sat on the bloody floor. She went to bury her face in her hands, realising too late that whatever she touched, the mess just got worse. There was blood everywhere, she had to give up. What was the point? She couldn't clear all this, there was no way, and she was just making it worse.

@ dear_mun

[insert dramatic sigh here]

How much longer are you going to spend reading those books? I'm booooored! Come ooooooon, play with me. I wouldn't mind if they were remotely interesting, but I think I can honestly say the Book of Origin is more riveting than that drivel.

How about that glitch you were toying with? Because frankly, I'd take anything right now. And at least it would be exciting! Minus the part where I'm incarcerated temporarily for stealing from Stargate Command of course, I don't like that part particularly. How about we run with the former part of the glitch, and leave it at that? Consequences are so passé. Besides, what makes you think I'd get caught?



Cocktails and Denial

Daniel had waited for what seemed like hours for Vala to wake up, not wanting to wake her prematurely. The past couple of weeks must have taken their toll on her and it was unusual for her to sleep so soundly, she was best left. He never mentioned that her sleep was fitful at best, that was something else best left, at least for now.

"Good morning!" Vala chirped, appearing in the kitchen with a beach bag slung over her shoulder, clad in bikini top, tiny denim shorts and flip-flops. Daniel had just replied to River via the tablet to tell her he probably wouldn't be able to make it today to plan the dig, he'd spend the day with Vala - she needed him more right now.

The vision before him was far different to what he'd expected though. Leaning past him to the fruit bowl, Vala snapped a banana from the bunch and kissed his nose with a grin. He'd expected her to be still wracked with guilt over Adria. This reaction took him a little by surprise.

"I haven't seen daylight for two weeks, it's about time I overdosed I think." She inhaled exaggeratedly, ready for the open air and the smell of the ocean. "So I'm off to the beach!" She announced firmly.

He was waiting for the 'and so are you!'. Lying and doing nothing in the sun wasn't exactly Daniel's idea of relaxing, but if he took a book it could be quite relaxing. Not that bad an idea as ideas go, Vala.

"So you're free to go and spend your time with your archeology woman," she smiled a little fakely, and not without a hint of disdain towards River. Before he had chance to say a word, Vala was flouncing off, banana in hand and seemingly without a care in the world.

"Vala... wait." He started after her, this reaction wasn't healthy for her.

She turned and gave him a more sincere thoughtful look, apparently ready to listen.

"Look, I think you need to... I think you should..." She cut him off without a second thought.

"Have a cocktail while I'm there? Good idea, what exactly goes in a Pina Larder again?"

The Character Expression Meme

The Character Expression Meme

Character: Vala Mal Doran
Journal: valaunbound

.sympathy..evil..innocent..in love.

Snag yourself the coding here.

I need a decent rage one - I'll have to get myself some screenshots of her stuck in that jail cell in 'The Powers that Be'. Also shy and sympathy were really hard, Vala isn't sure what they are. Aand innocent and guilty - pretty much the same look XDXD. In fact I nearly used the same icon for both LOL


Character Survey

Name: Vala Mal Doran
Nicknames: None really, unless you include past pseudonyms - Valerie Todad and Sister Vesina, plus a few more probably.
Age: 36
Birthday/Starsign: 10th April - Aries

Eyesight/Hearing: 20/20 - Selective Hearing
Abilities/Skills: Naquadah in her bloodstream gives her the ability to use Goa'uld technology (including a healing device) and decipher alien technology & languages. Trained combatant, markswoman, martial arts, accomplished pilot, pick locks, bypass a lot of security systems.
Physical Health: Athletic, works out, very fit.
IQ (approximate is fine): 145ish
Extrovert/Introvert: Extrovert
Phobias/Fears: Apart from an innate fear of expressing her true emotions or vulnerability - nope.
Mental Health: A little bit unstable, pathological liar (she's working on it- she swears), fairly traumatic history not helping with the stability/emotional wreck under the front.

Goals/Dreams: Daniel Jackson, to be part of SG-1 proper, Daniel Jackson and Daniel Jackson. To belong somewhere
Likes: Daniel Jackson, Shopping, Shiny Things, Getting her own way.
Dislikes: Authority, the Ori, the Goa'uld - they're givens though.
Humour: Innuendo and dry wit.
First Impression: Confident, humorous, flirty, tends to say things like they are, or are blatant lies.
Innocent or guilty: Both? ...Okay, guilty with a side order of innocence thrown in that she doesn't think is there.

Height: 5'9"
Weight: 115lb (although in canon - a police sheet on her says 105 :/)
Eyes: Bluey Green/Grey
Hair: Black, often in pigtails - usually a sparkly hairgrip or a silk flower or something.
Build: Athletic/Slim/Toned(think Linda Hamilton - Terminator 2)
Defining Marks, scars, etc: Small scar on her neck where the Goa'uld entered and was removed.
Dress Style: Unless she's in SG uniform, alternates between sassy/sexy and cute/sexy if she's wearing Earth clothes, her own clothes tend to be leather and overtly sexual.
Speech: Wide vocab, quite deep/British sounding. Vala at her best :)

Marital Status: Technically married, but it doesn't really count, or the marriages before that either...
Sexual Preference: Daniel Jackson - What? It's a valid preference!
Sex before marriage: Hell yes.
Casual sex?: Absolutely.
Relationships: Nothing of note or lasting (officially married to Tomin still - but that was more a 'save her ass' marriage to avoid being burned alive.)
General: Earth dating rituals are still new to her, she's pretty much used her sexuality all her life to achieve other goals, never having had a meaningful relationship. She'd like one though.

Friend: Daniel & then Teal'c/Sam/Mitchell
Book: Something short and to the point.
TV Show/Movie/Play: One Life to Live, the X-files, Wizard of Oz
Colour: Black.
Drink: Martinis.
Food: Pancakes, and double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream
Thing to do: Spend/shop/party.

Least Favourites
Person: Ba'al
Book: All of them?
TV Show/Movie: Current Affairs programmes, needless gore - that's not entertainment.
Colour: Pink.
Drink: Diet anything.
Food: Brussel Sprouts (she's such a child)
Thing To Do: Paperwork, burning alive.

Little White Lies

Vala's memory has been slowly coming back for a few days now, to the point where it's almost completely returned. Not that you'd know though; Vala's quite happy living at Daniel's house because her mental state has left her so 'vulnerable' and she intends to make it last as long as possible. So, we have a Vala, pretending to have lost her memory still, but actually remembers everything, from who she is to who Daniel is, well the whole shebang really. It's a foolproof plan, he'll continue to want to keep her close by, until her staying there becomes so routine, he won't think twice about changing anything when her memory does return.

So, memory loss considered, everything at Taxon has to remain largely unbelievable. Because she hasn't ever travelled off Earth, or met anyone or any species with powers or anything else unearthly for that matter, and yes well... We'll see how well she keeps up the façade.

After rearranging Daniel's notes pinned to the fridge or the umpteenth time, because seriously - anyone'd think he'd used a protractor - and bored with going through the files on his computer (how easy was that password to crack?), she opens the tablet up and addresses Taxon at large.

"So, I've spoken to an angel of the Lord apparently, I'm not even from Earth and I'm accustomed to inter-planetary travel. Anyone else want to regale me with their X-Files worthy stories? We might as well be up-front about the absurdity of it all,

OOC - How's my driving?

So I've been playing Vala for almost two months now, and I'm sure this post will get lost and never be used, but this is where you can give me your honest feedback on how I'm doing with Vala, should you so desire. Positive or negative, suggestions, crit, the works; have at it.

I'm fairly new to Stargate in general, but once I saw a couple of episodes with Vala, I was completely 'OMG I have to play her', so any feedback you have at all would be much appreciated. She's not the kind of character that would put up with being portrayed badly.

Anon on, IP off, etc, if that's the way you roll.


Vala Character Info

Character: Vala Mal Doran
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Species: Human with Naquadah in her bloodstream, giving her certain Goa'uld capabilities and aptitude.
Canon Point: Post Season 10, Episode 8 "Memento Mori".
Appearance: Height, 5'9" (175cm), long black hair, Green/Grey eyes, slim athletic build.


Since her first encounter with the SGC two years ago, there have been remarkable changes in Vala's character. Once a brash, selfish, untrustworthy thief whose relentless sexual innuendos and pathological lies had only been a deterrent to the team, Vala has begun to put the needs of others before her own, to allow herself to trust, and to feel compassion that had once been deeply buried. When Vala first arrived at Stargate Command, she was a scheming, unscrupulous, thieving con artist and liar. But her experiences since that time have moulded her into a very different person who has become a valued member of the SG-1 team. Vala's defining personality facet was that above everything else, she was completely out for number one and self-serving. She was entirely self-centered and in any given situation was on the look-out for how she could profit from it. Vala will still utlilise any means necessary to get what she wants, and is definitely not above lying, cheating or stealing to that end, but her motivation is less self-serving, although not exclusively.

She’s feisty and occasionally fickle with an overtly amorous interest in Dr Daniel Jackson. When given an inch, will take a mile, and whatever else she can get her hands on. She’s sassy, intelligent, manipulative and mercurial. Her ethics are questionable and she’s ever resourceful to get her own way. She has a very innuendo driven dry sense of humour and is full of energy and verve and cutting commentary. As a comedic and energetic character with streaks of irreverence and naughtiness, Vala says everything that everyone else is thinking, but doesn't dare say. Vala can be selfless, but she most always says that it's only for the glory and adoration, never that she meant to help someone other than herself.

The real core of Vala is and always was driven by a moral compass, and her actions and history are largely due to the pain she carries from her past weighing on her, but she runs, deflects, lies and denies whatever she doesn't want to acknowledge. This is tied directly to looking out for herself above all. When things are beyond her control, she will try everything in her power to twist a situation so that she has the upper hand. Perhaps this comes from her childhood when she couldn't be with her father, or maybe from when she was host to Qetesh and had no say and no control over her own actions and witnessed firsthand the atrocities that Qetesh committed, the slaughter and torture of literally thousands. The long-term effects of being host to Qetesh for so long are difficult to quantify, but they most certainly have left Vala a little unstable, although she denies this to the hilt. Her subsequent torture by Qetesh’s people are memories that she has great difficulty talking about, their impact on her psychology and stability, further placing up firm barriers of denial and deflection.

When Vala was reunited with her father, Jacek, the old feelings of bitterness and resentment resurfaced. Her life had been a constant struggle against the personal issues that he had seeded, and she resented him more than ever for reentering her life now. She was no longer the unscrupulous thief and liar that he had known, and become a very different person, because this time she had genuinely wanted to change. Vala is deeply resentful toward her father, citing an inexhaustible list of his inadequacies as both a parent and a human being in general. While she was growing up he would be gone for months at a time, only to return to lay low or hide from the people he had swindled. But as a child she had looked forward to his return and the stories he would tell. When she was a little older, she had traveled with her father to several planets, and she kept the presents he brought her from his travels as treasured keepsakes in a box under her bed, a box she refuses to admit she still keeps hidden away. Vala was raised by her step-mother Adria, one of several wives Jacek had taken, she has no fond memories of the woman at all and she prefers to consider that she inherited her charm, her wit, her good looks, as well as her accent, from her mother, although she inherited more of her father's qualities than she cares to admit.

Vala has also worked hard to adapt to Earth culture, mostly by using television as her guide. Her deep reserves of nervous energy and enthusiasm coupled with her tendency to become easily bored have driven her to explore new experiences and all aspects of Earth society from birthday parties with piñatas to high school reunions. She has made it a personal goal to grasp the playful twists on words in "Earth" language as she struggles with clichés and idioms. She has developed a talent for basketball, roller skating, and poker, and she has discovered "One Life to Live," reruns of "The X-Files," and the wonders of eBay. Vala and Carter have bonded over pedicures, mochaccinos, and Victoria's Secret, and she has developed a taste for martinis, pancakes, and double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. She has also developed a curiosity for dating rituals, and her initially antagonistic relationship with Daniel has blossomed into a friendship of trust and support that Vala has on occasion interpreted as something more.

Vala underneath all the façade, is a deeply compassionate and emotionally vulnerable person, her hard-knock background and always being on the run, has severely hampered her ability to form lasting relationships or open up and talk about her emotions, although she has made considerable progress on this front.

Skills/Abilities & Weaknesses:

Vala is skilled in deciphering languages and artifacts. She has an extensive knowledge of alien technology with which she has helped to repair ships such as the Prometheus and the Odyssey, to bypass security systems, to manually dial the stargate, and even to complete Merlin's weapon. She is an accomplished pilot and has flown the Prometheus, an alkesh, and a cargo ship with equal ease.

Because she was once a Goa'uld host, she carries naquadah in her blood and has retained the ability to use Goa'uld technology such as the healing device. She is good with weapons and skilled in hand-to-hand combat and martial arts and pretty kick-ass, having overcome Daniel easily. Because of her colorful past, she is independent and resourceful, she has numerous contacts and the ability to negotiate with even the most untrustworthy, she knows how to hold her liquor, she is accomplished at picking locks, and she is skilled at games of chance, even if she occasionally cheats.

The naquadah in her blood stream, offers her no extra protection, and therefore Vala has base human weaknesses.


Vala is an off-world human, born on a distant world. Her father, Jacek, is a charming con man who made his way moving from one scheme to the next searching for easy riches. He was absent for the first three years of Vala's life, running scams out of the Nylus sector.

Her propensity for lying has made it difficult to determine which stories from her past may be true. She has said that she didn't attend school as much as she was sold as a domestic servant to a weapons smuggler named Fierenze, and after she had killed him and won her freedom, she considered her education more or less complete. She has mentioned a number of relationships, Veron Karn being one of the first, a young boy she had liked when they were both ten. She has referred to being engaged once, and even taking several husbands, the first of whom was from a band of traveling entertainers, although she admits that it is hard to keep track of even the legal marriages.

When she was a young woman, Vala was taken as a host by the Goa'uld Qetesh, and for seven years the symbiote ruled over a number of planets as a god. Qetesh, a ruthless and devious Goa'uld, slaughtered ten thousand Cronus Jaffa, tortured and executed her people whilst using Vala’s body, with her consciousness still intact. Eventually, however, the Tok'ra incited a rebellion on Qetesh's planet, and the people rose up against their god. Unable to distinguish the symbiote from the host, the population captured her alive, tortured her, and she was beaten for days on end by those who believed Qetesh and Vala were one and the same. The Tok'ra felt responsible, however, and at last they rescued her, removed the symbiote, and nursed her back to health.

Vala returned to P8X-412, a little mining outpost in Qetesh's domain too isolated to have received the news of Qetesh's demise. The planet acted as a safe haven for her until she got back on her feet, however she returned in the role of Qetesh, masquerading as the Goa’uld, and although she treated the people with benevolence and compassion, even establishing a system of justice known as a "mal doran," her primary goal was to guarantee her own financial security, and she insisted that the people continue to work the practically barren naquadah mine for her. Vala had begun to fall back on her father's ways. As she traveled from planet to planet in search of riches, she encountered some of the most unsavory characters of the galaxy. She lived by her wits and her lies, and she developed a reputation as an unscrupulous trader and smuggler.

Vala's first encounter with the SGC came approximately three years after the symbiote of Qetesh had been removed. During the Prometheus expedition to Atlantis the ship picked up an apparent distress signal and responded. However, Vala, wearing the armor of a Kull Warrior, ringed aboard the Prometheus and hijacked it, leaving the entire crew, with the exception of Daniel, behind on her disabled al’kesh. Although she insisted that she had stolen the Prometheus as the only hope to save the last of her people, who only sought a means to relocate to a safe homeworld, she instead set a course to rendezvous with Tenat of Oran, with whom she had arranged to trade the ship for refined weapons grade naquadah. Daniel regained control of the Prometheus, however, Vala was taken into custody, but she was able to free herself, and once again she made her escape in the al’kesh.

A few months later, Vala arrived at the SGC with a tablet purported to lead to an incredible Ancient buried treasure on Earth. However, she also arrived with a pair of Kor Mak bracelets which she attached to herself and to Daniel, creating an instant physiological bond between them that she insisted she wouldn't remove until the treasure had been found and she had acquired her share of the loot. She accompanied the team to Glastonbury, and there the Ancient treasure was discovered, as well as several artifacts, including an Ancient communication terminal. Still linked together, Daniel and Vala activated the terminal, and Vala's and Daniel’s consciousnesses were transported into the bodies of a Sallis and Harrid Cicera in the distant galaxy of the Ori. There, accused of heresy as an unbeliever, she was burned to death at the Ara, and her own body at the SGC also died until her life was restored by a Prior. However, as she was sentenced to burn a second time, the communication link was severed, and Vala and Daniel were returned to their bodies at the SGC.

The communication terminal may have affected the technology of the Kor Mak bracelets, however, because even after their removal, Daniel and Vala remained linked, and so Vala accompanied the team on their next few missions, including attempts on several worlds to disengage the Kor Mak technology, and the missions to P8X-412 and Kallana. At Kallana, the team witnessed the Ori attempt to establish a beachhead by collapsing the planet into a micro-singularity and forming a supergate. As the components of the supergate fell into position, however, Vala without permission commandeered a cargo ship and maneuvered it into the place of the last component, disrupting the energy field of the final link in the chain. The shock wave of the forming singularity destroyed the supergate, but Vala was drawn through the singularity and into the Ori galaxy.

Vala awakened in Ver Isca in the Ori galaxy, where she was taken in by Tomin, a gentle soul who found her and nursed her back to health. Shortly afterward, she discovered that she was carrying a child, despite not having had the necessary physical relations, but as she and Tomin became close, they were married, and she hoped to convince him that the child was his. It was only later that she learned that her child was the Orici, the will of the Ori. Fearful for her own safety as well as that of her child, Vala sought the members of the anti-Ori underground, hoping to find a way to communicate with Earth. Seevis and Denya, of the underground movement, tested her resolve by chaining her to the Ara without food or water for three days until they were certain she could be trusted. Their attempt to sabotage the Ori warships failed, but using a communication terminal, Vala's consciousness entered Daniel's body at the SGC, and she was able to warn Earth of the coming Ori invasion.

Aboard an Ori warship as it entered our galaxy, Vala gave birth to a daughter, the child of the Ori. The infant aged at a rapid rate, and it was Vala who convinced the young child to take the name Adria. The young Orici accepted the name Adria, but she could not convince her mother to accept Origin, the teachings of the Ori, and Vala was able to escape from the Ori ship when she and SG-1 were beamed aboard the Odyssey.

Vala returned to the SGC where she was given quarters on the base and the opportunity to remain, provided she passed a psychiatric evaluation. Determined to make a good impression, Vala attempted to study for the psych exam, bewildering Dr. Hutchison with a prepared litany of psychobabble. Nevertheless, she passed the test and became a probationary member of Stargate Command. Her actions remained under close scrutiny as Vala accompanied the team on her first few missions. Initially armed only with a zat gun, she eventually began carrying a P-90. Although overly enthusiastic and often overlooking the need for following a chain of command, Vala began to earn the trust of SG-1 and frequently proved her value to the team with her self-proclaimed "vast experience" with rare deadly creatures or rare ancient treasures and as one of the best thieves in two galaxies. As the mother of the Orici, she also shared a unique relationship with Adria, which would prove useful in their fight.

Vala's past caught up with her when an ally of Qetesh, Athena, arrived on Earth and arranged her kidnapping in order to probe Vala's subconscious mind for memories of Qetesh that might lead her at last to the Clava Thessara Infinitas. Vala endured the excruciating pain of the memory recall device, but an electrical surge erased her memory, and Vala escaped from her tormenters with no memory of her identity. She was taken in by Sal, of Sol's Diner, where she worked as a waitress for two weeks while both SG-1 and the agents of Athena searched for her. When at last her memory returned and she was reunited with the team, Vala was offered the SGC uniform patches, and she became an official member of SG-1.

Background Universe Info:

Stargate Command (abbreviated to SGC) is a top-secret United States Air Force military organization tasked with operating the Stargate device and all matters pertaining to things offworld. It is based one thousand meters beneath the Cheyenne Mountain Complex in Colorado, codenamed "Area 52".

The primary function of the base is to secure the Stargate (by locking it under 1000 metres of rock inside a secure military base) and protect the Earth. Simultaneously, it exists to coordinate exploration and diplomatic relationships through the Stargate; i.e. it is the core of the Stargate Program, the mission of which is to procure technology that can defend Earth, and make offworld allies.

The SGC serves as one location for researching alien technology. Many cover stories have been generated to keep the general populace, even high-ranking government officials, unaware of the goings on within the SGC. The SGC base acts as the secure ground station for all Stargate activities. It is commanded by Major General Hank Landry and is staffed by subject matter experts and military support personnel, several elite special operations teams, and several SG teams, including SG-1; of which Vala is a team member.

There are four known galaxies and many races, The Milky Way (where Earth is and the Ancients lived), Ida (Home to the Asgard race), Pegasus (Home to the City of Atlantis – and where the Ancients fled to), Alteran (Ori Home Galaxy) and obviously countless planets within each galaxy. Earth outside the realms of the SGC is protected from the knowledge of SGC and the Stargates, and therefore exists almost completely as the modern day Earth that we live in.

The Stargates are a series of devices, built by the Ancients, that can create artificial Wormholes between distant worlds. The Ancients placed Stargates on thousands of worlds across several galaxies, but the gate network was open to use by all, and continues to be a convenient form of travel for many races. Some races, such as the Goa'uld, grew their ways of life around the gates, which became integral to the functioning of their culture.

Although Stargates are present on many planets, most of the races which inhabit them are relatively primitive, and view the gates as no more than divine, sacred or terrifying relics, the Stargate found in Antarctica on Earth has been estimated to be over 50 million years old.

Vala's Universe currently has two major threats, the Goa’uld and the Ori. The Ori are a race of ascended beings who used their knowledge and power as justification to demand the worship of mortal beings and are hellbent on galactic domination. The Goa’uld are a race of sentient parasitic beings that take over hosts. Several species can serve as hosts, including humans and Unas. They are extremely egomaniacal due to their genetic memory and the sarcophagus technology. Goa'uld means "God" in the Goa'uld language. Races which will not serve them are completely destroyed without compromise.

Paradisa Threads

X We seem to be making a habit of this Daniel, guess we'll have to stick together a while.

X Doctor Vala can help you Xander. Daniel spoils all my fun.

X Meeting Jack Harkness, all Hallow the Penis

X Conning Jack Sparrow, very nice ruby obtained tyvm.

X Attempt to con the Tenth Doctor, but apparently he has nothing better to do with his time than read other people's entries.

X Shooting Jack Harkness. What? I thought his Doctor friend was Goa'uld, it was necessary. I think it went well...


Vala to Mitchell: I know we haven't met. That, I'm sure I would remember.

Cameron: Ladies first.
Vala to Jackson: Well then, after you.

Vala to Teal'c: Give it a try, Muscles. I'll give you half.

Vala: I haven't been this disappointed since I had sex with Daniel.

Vala trying to reassure Jackson about Teal'c and Mitchell's fate: Look, I didn't hear any screaming or squishing sounds, so...

Daniel: Isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program. So we can meet new races, gather advanced technology, possibly learn about ourselves in the process.
Vala: Oh c'mon. You do it to meet women.
Cameron: She has a point, sir.

Vala: I've got tingles all over. And don't flatter yourself. I'm pretty sure it's not you.

Vala: I don't think enlightenment means what they think it means.

Vala: You two aren't gonna let people from two different worlds beat you at your own silly game are you?

Daniel: Just try to be—
Vala: What? My charming self?
Daniel: A little less talk, a little more shut the hell up.

Vala to her daughter: Are you actually going to stop growing at some point?
Vala: You know, I never thought I'd agree with my father but now I'm starting to remember about how he used to go about, you nurture them, and you raise them, and you teach them the best that you can, and then all they do is break your heart. I always assumed that his experience was just tainted by me.
Daniel: What are you talking about?
Vala: Wow. She started off all sweet and innocent and now she's hellbent on domination of the galaxy.
Daniel: What? How old is she?
Vala: A few hours. The Ori used me to sneak one of their own over the border.
Daniel: This is bad.
Vala: You're telling me. Origin is about to become much more appealing to the males of this galaxy.

Vala is off to use Jackson's computer to study for her psych test
Daniel: I said no. And you can't access it without my password!
Vala: Already got it, thanks!

Landry: You can't cram for a psychiatric evaluation.
Vala: That's what they want you to think.

Dr. Hutchinson: Vala. I'm Dr. Hutchinson. Have a seat. So, how are you feeling?
Vala: Very well. Very well. Well you know all things considered. I mean you'd assume I'd be a prime candidate for aculturation difficulty, enduring feelings of displacement and alienation. Perhaps even a little paranoid ideation. The truth is I was able to adopt an abstract attitude, which allowed me to release some of my repressed feelings, ultimately providing me with a cathartic actualization. How are you feeling?

About Vala taking the lie detector test
Hutchinson: Try to relax. an aside You're looking very nice today.
Vala: Oh. Thank you. You're looking rather dashing yourself.
Hutchinson: Thanks. realizes the detector is signaling a false answer. So does Vala.
Vala: I mean, nice. no change I mean, not objectionable.

Woolsey: I'm assuming things didn't go well.
Vala: I fail to see the point of that ridiculous exercise. Unless it's purpose was to thoroughly humiliate me. Those questions weren't intended to shed light on my character or delve deeply into my subconscience. They were merely little reminders as to exactly why I don't belong here.
Woolsey: Then I take it you've carefully considered our offer and come to a decision.
Vala: I have.
Vala: As my first official act I'd like to report a rather disagreeable little man.
Woolsey: That'd be me.
Landry: Mr. Woolsey's offer was part of the test. We wanted to make sure we could trust you.
Vala: I knew that. But were his sexual advance part of the test?
Woolsey: What? That's a— General, I can assure you.
Vala: Well, I would have even considered playing along, but some of his requests were, well, a little unusual. Even for me.

Vala: Listen, we're not rejoining the fleet. You're coming with me.
Adria: No. I can't abandon my army.
Vala: It's not your army.
Adria: Of course it is.
Vala: Well as your mother I'm putting my foot down. You're too young to have an army.

Daniel: Dinner tonight is my way of saying Thank you. Thank you for proving me right when I said we could take a chance on you.
Vala: I don't know what to say.
Daniel: Just say what you were going to say before I interrupted.
Vala: Okay. I need to use the bathroom.

Trust Minion: How are you feeling?
Vala: A little dizzy. A little tired. And very very angry.
Trust Minion: That's because the flashbacks you're experiencing are dredging up some long-buried emotions that are coloring your subconscious mind.
Vala: I'm going to kill both of you in the most painful way possible.

Cameron: Where are we going?
Vala: Just drive.
Cameron: You know I'm bleeding here.
Vala: Shut up.

Vala: What are you doing?
Cameron: Trying to see if I still have both my kidneys.

Vala: What's this?
Landry: Let's just call it a Welcome Back present.
Vala: These are—
Landry: Team badges. You're now officially a member of SG-1.
Carter: Congratulations. You earned it.

Cameron: Yep. She's a real beauty.
Vala: Stabilizers are a bit wonky, I'm afraid. Makes for a bumpy ride. But it's all perfectly safe.
Cameron: Really?
Vala: Not exactly.
Daniel: We gave you as much raw naquadah as you needed and all you came up with was this piece of junk?
Vala: People's lives are at stake, Daniel. Do you honestly think that I cheaped out on the ship and pocketed the difference? an alarm goes off
Cameron: What's that?
Vala: Life support seems to be failing. to Teal'c Can you take over? changes crystals and the alarm stops
Cameron: Great, you fixed that. How about fixing the stabilizers?
Vala: Oh, I didn't fix anything. I just disabled that annoying alarm.

Vala: The key is to be as inconspicuous and non-threatening as possible. If you like I could take Daniel.

Jacek: Sweetheart! How is life treating you?
Vala: Certainly better than you ever did.

Vala: So where are the boys tonight?
Carter: Cameron has a date, Daniel is exhausted. And Teal'c got tickets to some show...

Vala: Being stuck on this ship is worse than being stuck at SGC. I tell you last time I was this bored I took prisoners.
Daniel: I was there.

Vala about the Asgard: Out of curiosity, how can you tell the difference?
Daniel: The voice.

Vala to Daniel: I'm gonna go crazy. And I'm taking you with me.

Vala: I'm hearing things all the time. Are you hearing things?
Teal'c: I am trying not to.

Cameron: What are you, 130 now?
Vala: I don't know. He doesn't look a day over 120 to me.

Vala: 50 or 60 years? Something interesting must have happened. Obviously I hooked up with someone. Was it you, Muscles?